Arts Briefly

by Kevin Sweeney

In that section of the Friday NY Times I spot a
small headline: “Dead Dog Returns to Haunt Artist.”
A sculptor named Tom Otterness, had his contract
for subway sculptures that would have earned him
$750,000 terminated by San Francisco. A San
Francisco Examiner reporter discovered that when
Mr. Otterness was 25, he bought a dog at a shelter,
tied it to a fence, shot it “on camera,” and created
an exhibit called “Shot Dog Film.” It was too late
to cancel Mr. Otterness’s other project for the new
hospital; the City had already ponied up $365,750
for his “Mother With Children” piece, so this mother
will receive the full $700,000 he has coming. San
Francisco would lose money by terminating that
contract too. I once made an ecumenical Catholic
promise to God, Buddha, Yahweh, Allah, et al
that every dollar I get from readings will go
to local animal shelters. While that promise still
holds, I am ready to put up $50 of my own as bounty
on Mr. Otterness. It won’t be necessary to tie him
to a fence or shoot him. A punch in the face will
earn you the stipend. If I don’t hear from anyone
in a year or so, I might cruise the Upper East Side
and do the job myself. Since I’m over 60, I might
punch him twice, and when he hits the pavement,
say, “Hey pal, I know a thing or two about art.”