ampersanding

by Shane Vaughan

I still think of you, I say, Even now
Even Now? you reply in that voice

We are having coffee in a dream of Italy
it is hot in a bearable kind of way
& the thought of gelato is on my throat
I know I am dreaming because it is hot
& I do not sweat, we talk
& I do not shake

Garçonasks if we would like to look at the menu.
It is a list of all the times we couldn’t salvage
timecoded with dates beside them
I order a side salad of being drunk
& telling you you’ve changed (18/11)
with a mains of screaming about your stupid
fucking jacket in this stupid fucking weather (12/02)

You elect for a tasty dish of sad sex (01/01)
And meeting for the first time (21/09)

I rest my cigarette on the lip of an ashtray
just as you reach out to brush a feather off the table
& for a moment we skim each other
oh rush, you are sweeter than any ice cream
& hushedly we catch each other’s eye.

I signal for Garçonand he brings the bill
I am alone and a light rain has begun.
Pausing over the menu I finger the desserts
How is the ice cream here, I ask
Monsieur,he says,it is just like you remember
*