Infomercial

By Michael Colbert

Sheets too hot
cold
switch sides
back
pillow flip
try jacking off
nothing puts me back to sleep.
One AM it’s just me
the dog
and George Forman.
Look how this pillow flattens
in the Food Saver.
Hear George Forman talk
lean mean fat grilling machines
I thought he was famous
for foot grills, not boxing
and outside someone sold the sky
a wooden bowl to use as the moon
you know the type. I’d shuffle
Teddy Grahams in those shallow
salad bowls at my grandmother’s
during Wheel & Jeopardy
My sister loved infomercials best.
Here’s a gadget for any problem
Flip channels. Skip laugh tracks.
Vacuum seal leftovers for your life alone.
Maybe there’s something for these late nights
Maybe I just need a boyfriend
pillow to spoon me back to bed