Toaster on a tightrope

by Maureen Owen

What’s wrong with me!      why don’t I get better ?
       Calling   “Maureen               Maureen           where are you ? 

Herself awkwardly
counting pills

I cooked dinner
We watched the Giant’s game     She began
having breathing problems     stomach  so hot
I adjust the oxygen nose piece
position the fan
ankles swelling
the night worsens
She wakes     can’t breathe
Is the window open     Is the door open ?
can’t breathe     panic rising
raise oxygen level
give her a Tums and ½ Lasix
prop on pillow balconies     heaped mauve & cotton
rub the lavender and sandalwood lotion on her back and ankles
as dawn blurs the darkness
set her up in the comfortable rocking chair
in the kitchen     another tums     & second Lasix ½
call Nancy     we won’t go to church this morning     no sleep
at 10    she’s up &      coffee     slowly breathing